THIS JUST IN: SLAVERY WASN'T ALL THAT BAD AFTER ALL!

According to a North Carolina school booklet, Slaves actually lived "a life of plenty, of simple pleasures" as opposed to the humiliation, murder, rape and torture that we know happened. The school is defending the booklet, and their decision to use it claiming that "You can have two different sides, a Northern perspective and a Southern perspective" according to the school's Principal Larry Stephenson. Last time I checked Larry, there were more than two perspectives on anything. Even slavery.

The two authors, Doug Wilson and Steve Wilkins have "essentially constructed the ruling theology of the neo-Confederate movement." According to the school. Doug Wilson is even credited with writing the book on classical education on which the school bases it's philosophy. But the insanity doesn't stop there.

Stephenson defends the schools decision by stating: "As a classical Christian school, we think it's important for our students to be able to think and not be slanted to a particular position," Stephenson said. "We want them to think for themselves." Despite the logic that suggests otherwise. The book clearly states that there is one opinion, and the history books are wrong:

"As we have already mentioned, the 'peculiar institution' of slavery was not perfect or sinless, but the reality was a far cry from the horrific descriptions given to us in modern histories." (pg 22)

The school claims that in public schools, students learn one position. "That's not education. That's indoctrination." says Stephenson. It may be important to identify and analyze the motication that caused the adoption of slavery as an institution. But saying: "There has never been a multi-racial society which has existed with such mutual intimacy and harmony in the history of the world" (pg 24) is far fetched and insulting.

Try Howard Zinn's The People's History Of The United States.

my dog

Ooh i thought of another one

i was walking my dog, and suddenly felt the urge...

so i took cover and did a huge steaming poo. it was steaming cos it was winter.

my dog started eating it almost before it had completely departed from my body.

it was the most disgusting thing to watch. but watch i had to. he ate every bit of it.

he died a little while after that, caught some viurs, pulvo virus, probably from me.

ah well.. you know what they say... eat shit - and die.

Shitty Bollocks

I once had a shit in a toilet with a particularly shallow bowl. It was a quite a long solid one, and unfortunately was just shorter than the distance twixt anus and porcelain.

It left my arse and almost immediately hit the bowl, and because the fall had been so gentle it stood up straight for a second instead of breaking or splatting. It then leaned forwards and gently caressed my unsuspecting bollocks with its shitty tip, leaving behind a fair sized deposit, before slumping against the front of the bowl as if satisfied with its evil work. I had to clean my poor shit-smeared sack and run home for a shower.

The sensation of having shit on your bollocks is fucking awful, especially when you were just having a normal casual shit and you weren't even fucked or ill or anything. *shudders*

The great

The spring

My animals

Lady poo.

When I was a student, I lived with 2 other guys and (therefore) we had all experienced the horror of walking into a freshly poisoned toilet. However one night, after a really shit evenings work at Tesco's, I walked into the flat toilet and was instantly greeted with the foulest of airs imaginable by man. Knowing that at least one of the bastards was responsible I started shouting "You dirty fucking cunt! It fucking stinks of your evil shitty shit in there you diseased bastard...".

As I walked into the lounge, not only were both my flatmates in, but so were 2 of their parents. The Mother looked at me in disgust and stomped out before I could aoplogise for my language. I only found out after they had left that (with my other flatmate nearly shitting himself laughing) they had only 'popped in to use the loo' - and it was her who had needed it.

The Bride