Ooh i thought of another one

i was walking my dog, and suddenly felt the urge...

so i took cover and did a huge steaming poo. it was steaming cos it was winter.

my dog started eating it almost before it had completely departed from my body.

it was the most disgusting thing to watch. but watch i had to. he ate every bit of it.

he died a little while after that, caught some viurs, pulvo virus, probably from me.

ah well.. you know what they say... eat shit - and die.

Shitty Bollocks

I once had a shit in a toilet with a particularly shallow bowl. It was a quite a long solid one, and unfortunately was just shorter than the distance twixt anus and porcelain.

It left my arse and almost immediately hit the bowl, and because the fall had been so gentle it stood up straight for a second instead of breaking or splatting. It then leaned forwards and gently caressed my unsuspecting bollocks with its shitty tip, leaving behind a fair sized deposit, before slumping against the front of the bowl as if satisfied with its evil work. I had to clean my poor shit-smeared sack and run home for a shower.

The sensation of having shit on your bollocks is fucking awful, especially when you were just having a normal casual shit and you weren't even fucked or ill or anything. *shudders*

The great

The spring

My animals

Lady poo.

When I was a student, I lived with 2 other guys and (therefore) we had all experienced the horror of walking into a freshly poisoned toilet. However one night, after a really shit evenings work at Tesco's, I walked into the flat toilet and was instantly greeted with the foulest of airs imaginable by man. Knowing that at least one of the bastards was responsible I started shouting "You dirty fucking cunt! It fucking stinks of your evil shitty shit in there you diseased bastard...".

As I walked into the lounge, not only were both my flatmates in, but so were 2 of their parents. The Mother looked at me in disgust and stomped out before I could aoplogise for my language. I only found out after they had left that (with my other flatmate nearly shitting himself laughing) they had only 'popped in to use the loo' - and it was her who had needed it.